Back-story: Josiah's pregnancy was almost completely symtom-less and uneventful. Probably because I was busy chasing Timothy and just didn't notice things. Haha. Even though we loved our home birth experience with Timothy, we planned to deliver at Infinity Birth Center with the midwives, since we couldn't find a midwife that did home births who lived close enough to us. We were looking forward to a second water birth in Infinity's peaceful atmosphere. Appointments came and went and it looked like we were going in that direction.
I'm never going to say again, "This is where we plan to birth..." Our plans changed at 35 weeks with Timothy, and this time, they changed at 41.
I had so many bouts of pre-labor contractions starting around 38 weeks, but full-fledged labor kept us waiting...and waiting. 41 weeks arrived, and I went in for our 41 week appointment on February 5. Mom was with me because Timothy was sick at home with a stomach virus, so Dan stayed with him. We went in for the routine 41-week growth ultrasound. The lady started scanning, measuring...she kind of giggled nervously and said, "Ummm...do you see that number at the bottom of the screen?"
I looked...and couldn't believe it. The ultrasound was measuring Josiah to be 10 pounds, 10 ounces. Seriously? There was a baby weighing over 10 pounds in my tummy? No way. Mom and I were both incredulous. The lady measured everything one more time. Same total. I had guessed that he would weigh more than Timothy, but there was no way he weighed *that* much...surely. We followed the tech down the hallway, heading for the routine NST. On our way she handed the file to Dr Casal, who took one look and went, "Hmmmm..." My heart skipped a beat I think...I felt like my hopes for a birth center birth - and maybe even a vaginal birth - were going down the drain with that ultrasound. I think Mom immediately started praying...I was texting Dan as I was being strapped in for the NST. I was crying, trying to pray and calm my heart, all at the same time wondering how my body had grown a toddler.
Josiah checked out fine on the NST. My fluid levels and placenta looked great, so even at 41 weeks everything was fine, he was just large. As the NST was finishing up, Dr Casal came in. I could tell immediately that our plans were going to change. He explained to us that the ultrasound could be off as much as 20% in either direction - meaning I would be carrying a 9 1/2 pound baby, or an 11 1/2 pound baby. He explained that his concern was that the ultrasound was correct, as errors in late-term ultrasound typically happen more in overweight moms. Assuming it was correct, there was an increased risk to the baby of shoulder dystocia during delivery, a true emergency which the birth center wasn't equipped to handle. So delivering at the hospital was now our only option. He also strongly encouraged induction the next morning at 5:30am, to give me the best chance at a vaginal delivery. Most women my size wouldn't even be advised to try, but thankfully Dr Casal is a huge proponent of women having natural, vaginal births and didn't even mention c-section, besides as a last resort. Still, my heart was racing - we came in thinking we had an average size baby in there, and now just his estimated size was changing all of our plans. With Dan not there with me it was very overwhelming to say the least.
I did agree to schedule the induction, even though I felt a ton of hesitancy. The midwife checked me and I was already dilated to 4-5cm and 60% effaced. I trusted that my body would go into spontaneous labor in the next few days, and I really didn't want to be induced with Pitocin just because of an ultrasound, with no other indication. At the same time, if the ultrasound was accurate, I didn't want to give our baby many more days to cook, if my hope was a vaginal delivery. I felt so torn. We went home, Dan and I talked, and we planned to keep the induction appointment, even though neither of us felt at peace with the decision. We got everything ready, spent the evening snuggling Timothy, and went to bed feeling restless.
February 6 - Josiah's Birthday: I finally went to sleep around midnight, but woke up around 2:00am. As soon as I woke up I immediately felt the Holy Spirit tell me, "Wait." No plan B, no solution - just, "Wait." I woke Dan up and told him I didn't feel like we were supposed to go in at 5:30. We talked and decided to call as soon as the office opened to get in to meet, together, with Dr Casal. After that we slept better...Timothy slept late, I called the office and made an appointment for 10:30. We made pancakes, had breakfast, Mom came to stay with Timothy and we went in to the appointment.
Dr Casal was wonderful and so sincere in sharing his concerns with us, but also respecting that this was our child, our child's birth, and ultimately our decision. He still advised that we be induced that afternoon, but also offered to let us wait as late as the next Wednesday, if spontaneous labor hadn't occurred. He told us to go, discuss it, and let him know in a couple of hours. Both Dan and I had no clear direction... We didn't want to endanger our baby, obviously, above everything else. But we also are both believers in God's design for birth and the human body, and were very hesitant to use drugs to induce, when my body was obviously working toward labor on its own.
On the drive home Dan prayed, "God, just show us. Tell us."
We got back to our house around noon. Mom and the kids were here and we updated them. They decided to go eat lunch with Dad while we talked, and then the plan was to let them know if we decided to go be induced that afternoon.
Right as they were leaving I said, "I've been having some decent contractions the last few minutes...but I've had so many of those..." I didn't think anything of it because I had had dozens of "practice runs" with Josiah. Mom said, "Well, maybe they will keep going!" They left for lunch around 12:15.
In the next half hour, I started having strong contractions, 4 minutes apart. I could. not. believe. it. I denied it. But then I realized, God was doing it. He was answering us. He had started my body into spontaneous labor on the day we were advised to be induced. And I was completely amazed. I cried through the next few as they strengthened, our of total relief. God was doing this - He was birthing our baby in His time, in His way.
Contractions never slowed down. I texted Mom and told her, then went to rock Timothy to sleep for his nap. Sitting there they kept coming, and I knew, this was it. I put him down around 1:00, and shortly thereafter I started feeling the need to lean on our kitchen table through them.
Mom and the kids arrived back at our house around 1:15. Dan was packing things up, and called the midwife. She said to probably head toward the hospital, since they knew I was at 4-5cm the day before. I was chatting with Mom, leaning on the table during contractions, when a couple came just 2 minutes apart. Mom looked at Dan and said, "Uh, Dan, you need to go."
After checking into the hospital - 8cm. (You can tell by the look on my face that a contraction was coming on, haha.)
We arrived at the hospital around 2:00. After stopping several times to breath through a contraction during the walk inside, we made it to labor and delivery. I was thrilled to see Holly Bouton come into the room and say she would be our nurse. So awesome to see a familiar face, in a totally unexpected hospital setting. She checked me soon thereafter, and I was thrilled to be 8cm and 80% effaced. I hadn't expected 2 hours of noticeable contractions to double the dilation from the day before. She made us so comfortable - we got a birthing ball, turned the lights down, and went into full-fledged labor mode.
The next couple of hours were fun, Dan and I have both said. I know people think we are loopy, but we like doing labor together. The man is my rock, and he makes me laugh, even through contractions at 8cm dilated. He was so amazing, even more-so that during Timothy's birth. For around 2 hours it was just he and I in our labor room, rolling on the ball, standing and labor dancing, taking goofy pictures in between contractions, talking about the day and our amazement at the goodness of God in the middle of our confusion and doubt. It was a really sweet time, and one of our favorite memories from our marriage so far.
Somewhere between 4 and 4:30, I'm pretty sure I hit transition. I became much more vocal, and Dan would remind me to use low moans through the contractions. I asked Holly to check me again, just to see where baby was, to know if I should be standing up or walking more, as I had spent most of the last 2 hours on the ball. She checked and I was at 9cm, and barely any cervix left. She went to call the midwife, Tina, to let her know that pushing was probably coming soon. Dan and I continued to labor, and it was definitely getting hard. I hit that place of being *very* ready to be done, and have baby in arms.
Tina arrived probably around 4:45. She checked again, and said my water was bulging. Both her and Holly felt that when my water broke, I would be pushing. We talked and because of being 41 weeks plus a day, Dr Casal suggested breaking my water to make sure there was no meconium - plus, it would speed things up.
I clung to Dan's voice through the next few contractions on the bed. I *love* natural birth - I believe in it - but I believe in *upright* natural birth. Haha. Anyone who can labor naturally on their back in a bed is a much stronger woman than me. Anyway...multiple attempts to break my water happened. Apparently I grow very thick bags, because Timothy's didn't break until I was pushing with him. Tina finally got it to break, and then announced that I was complete. The next contraction that hit me absolutely took my breath away...I had no choice except to push. My body was pushing whether I liked it or not. I didn't experience that with Timothy. I'm not sure why, but with him, each push was a mental/physical effort of my own. And it took 3 long, exhausting hours. This was a completely different experience.
This time... Tina broke my water at 5:08pm. Pushing contractions hit my body like a freight train seconds thereafter, and I couldn't stop. There was no pausing, no taking a break, no waiting for the next one. It was intense, to say the least. I just remember hearing Dan say, "You're doing great...you're ok...low noises..." and I held onto his voice. I'm pretty sure I was roaring through pushing this time.
I expected this to go on forever, but just minutes passed and I hear, "I see baby!" and then, "He's crowning!" Dr Casal came in and joined the team since they wanted to be prepared for issues with baby's large shoulders and/or abdomen. Tina looked at me and told me, "Wait for the contraction and with this next set of pushes, give it everything you've got." I pushed and heard that his head was out, and then his body, and Tina was laying him on top of me. 18 minutes, from water breaking, to holding my baby. 5 hours from when I first timed contractions.
There were no issues with his exit, but immediately all of the birth team was exclaiming, "Wow! Big boy!" To me he just looked like a newborn, but I'm not used to judging babies weights by sight. I held him skin to skin for several minutes, Dr Casal waited until the cord stopped pulsing and then invited Dan to cut it. I felt so much relief and joy and amazement that he was here, in the world, and God had just...done it. Nothing like we planned, but perfect.
Then...the moment of truth. Haha. The nurse took him to the scale, laid him on it. The weight was first in kilos, so when they all yelled, "Whoa!" Dan and I were like, "Ummm...English, please?" Haha. They changed the number to ounces and I could not believe my eyes - 10 pounds, 10 ounces. The ultrasound was exactly on the money. To say we were shocked is a total understatement, I think even Dr Casal was a bit surprised. I looked at him and asked, "So, were you praying that I would go into labor when we left your office today?" He laughed and said, "I don't know, but I am praising the Lord right now!"
10lbs10oz, 20 1/2 inches long, with a head full of brown hair...Josiah Lee Kistler had made his beautiful entrance. If there is anything we will always say about his birth it is that God did it. All of it. 24 hours changed the entire "plan" for his birth, and God took care of it. As my dear friend Alicia reminded me that Thursday night after the ultrasound, God was not caught off guard by any of it. We didn't plan how any of it went, and He had it all completely under control. The births of our two sons couldn't be more opposite, as far as location and circumstances, but they are both truly testimonies to the sovereignty and goodness of God.
I did have a large tear (imagine that...haha) but that has actually not been a big deal. Recovering from the delivery itself has gone incredibly well. The hardest part of the last few days has been me having a stomach virus that lasted around 48 hours, and now a cold. But the Lord is faithful and gives so much grace. We are so thankful for everyone who has stepped in to help us - especially my parents and younger siblings in caring for Timothy - these last few days. We feel so loved and supported. Josiah is a blessed child to be immediately surrounded by such a loving group of sweet family and faithful friends.
We also can't stop talking about what a great experience we had with our unplanned hospital birth. Dan and I are both pretty crazy, natural-minded, let-your-monkey-do-it kind of people. Haha. I'm sure lots of folks think we are nuts. But to go in and feel totally respected during our baby's birth was such a gift. We are so thankful for Dr Casal, Tina and all the other midwives, Holly Bouton and all the other nurses, and anyone else who cared for us and helped make Josiah's birth so special. We were truly humbled and blessed by the care we received.
So...that's all, I think. We are home, resting when possible, feeling mostly exhausted in these early days of learning to do life with 2-under-2. So thankful for two healthy boys, one another, and the presence of God in the births of our children, and in every moment of our daily lives. He is so very present and not far off, and oh, how thankful we are.
-HK
